Goodbye Grandpa

Dear Grandpa,

As in life, so many things have been left unsaid. Maybe that is because I don’t know how to vocalize my thoughts, or maybe it is because it was hard to communicate with you for the last few years. When I wrote you that letter and received your reply I was thrilled that I could talk to you again. All I wanted to do was write to you again and again … But I let the little things in life get in my way and I waited too long to write you back. For that, I am deeply sorry.

So, here is my last letter to you.

I want you to know how much I have looked up to you and Grandma throughout my life. You have this bond, this connection, that kept you together through the ups and downs that life threw at you. You were always a calm soul and you always shared your best side with us. You showed me how a man should treat a lady and how a relationship can weather any storm. You were an anchor of resilience, determination, and love. Every milestone that you could attend in my life, you did with a smile on your face and pride in your eyes. If we ever needed to escape you would take us in with open arms.

You taught me how to love unconditionally, how to enjoy life with the people that mean the world to me, and how to work hard for my family.

I remember finding an Old Dogs cassette once, and mom told me you were singing on that cassette tape. You had a soulful voice and I am sure you are singing with the angels now.

I have always believed in heaven. In my mind it is a place where all our pains go away, where we are whole once again in our greatest form. From this place of peace we can rejoice with our loved ones who have also passed and keep an ever watchful eye on the earthly survivors that hold a piece of our hearts. I can just imagine you up there with your son, your brother and sisters, with my dad, uncles, grandparents, and cousin. I am positive your heart is full with this reunion.

You should know, we will take care of your love, Grandma. She knows you won’t be too far. You will be watching over her. We will be there for each other. All of us remaining on this earthly surface. You have created a strong family and raised wonderful children. Your life was full of love and happiness, and we will continue to live in the light to honour you. To honour your soul, your life, and the man you always will be in our hearts.

It’s hard to say that we are the people you left behind, because you did not choose this. God did. God saw that your pain had lasted too long and he felt it was time to bring you into a better place. As every life cycle has an end, I cannot believe we are left behind. We will simply.. See you soon.

From the time I was born

Until the day I am gone

You will always be my rock

My constant

In my heart

Forever you will be

 

Goodbye Grandpa

Autumn in the country

14114902_10157360386535274_2826204754260214935_oWet grass pads my feet as I look out into the countryside. Silence momentarily fills the air, there is no wind rustling the grass or the trees. Tails begin to flick, whipping at the pestering flies feasting on the horses’ coats. The field beside our little white house is home to an array of beautiful stallions and quarter horses. Colours ranging from browns, reds, grays, to a black and white painted breed. Each a stark contrast to the fields of green grass they are feasting on. Above a black crow flying past calls out to alert others of his presence. His calls echoing through the surrounding hills and into the valley below. As I breathe in, a moist cool air fills my lungs. It’s a peaceful autumn morning up on the hillside. The cloud covered sky refusing to allow the sun it’s glory of peaking through. Choosing instead to tease us with a sprinkle of rain. A toad lets out a deep bellowing call in the distance, enjoying his taste of the skies watery treat. Slowly the forest covering the hills begins to stir awake. Birds hidden in the woods begin to chirp and sing to one another in a calming chorus. The Mariah wind begins to speak her peace to the trees. Whispering sweet nothings and letting us know that it is time to start the day. In agreeance, I can hear the cattle begin their morning talks, mooing in the neighbor’s field. Deer emerge from the treeline, prancing coyly in search of their favourite meal. Mother Earth has agreed to share her spoils with them today, as I see them settle in a patch of alfalfa. With the white-tailed deer enjoying their breakfast feast, I decide it is time to retreat and let the animals eat and start their day in peace.